Saturday, January 5, 2013

Does This Smell Funny To You?

If you're eating, stop. It might gross you out a little to read this post and eat at the same time.  Or drink, for that matter.

It's been a while since I've written a post where you were cringing for me and disgusted by me and peeing your pants at the same time, so I figure it's about time.

The other night, I had taken my shower and was in my pajamas, watching tv.  I was exceptionally tired and just enjoying drooling while I was watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.  K-ster hadn't come home yet and I was in a trance like state, but I was pretty sure I hadn't fallen asleep at all.

I went to the bathroom and happened to look at my underwear.  You do it too, right?  Unless you're browsing through a catalog or reading graffiti on the girls' bathroom wall, there isn't much else do but look at your underwear, right?  How else would you discover things like this or this?

So, there I was, all clean from my shower and I looked down and saw this.    It's kind of blurry, but I don't think we need it to be crystal clear to know what we're seeing.



But, here's the thing.  I had been out of the shower for less than 30 minutes.  I was just sitting on the couch, not doing anything. 

And then I started to panic.  OMG did I fall alseep and go to the bathroom right on the couch? 

I started to think back to what I had been doing.  I was pretty sure I saw all of Wheel of Fortune.  And didn't nod off during the commercials.  I was pretty sure I hadn't gone to the bathroom anywhere, but especially not on the couch. 

And I still felt pretty clean.  That just out of the shower kind of clean.

Was I having an out of body experience?  And if so, was the REALLY the experience I should be having?  Really?  In the bathroom, of all places???  The universe really has it in for me.

So, I did the only thing I could.  The only reasonable action that someone in my position could do.

I smelled it.

And you know what?

It was soap!  I had taken a bath after my shower and my soap was down to little bits like this.


 
Some of those bits were on the floor of the tub.  And one of them was stuck to my butt!  Still, even as I was investigating!
 
I cannot explain the depth of the relief that I felt upon discovering that it was just a hunk of soap.  I was imagining having to go to the doctor to explain that I was having bowel issues and didn't even know it, while I was fully awake and aware!
 
K-ster didn't find my story very amusing.  Because the other day, he thought that particular piece of soap was a giant cockroach in the shower.
 
Linking up here and also with this lady!

7 comments:

  1. Oh my...this post is HILARIOUS. You just made me laugh so hard I thought I'd do something like you thought you did! Thanks for the laughs. I so needed it tonight!

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  2. OMGosh ... LOL. Where I'm from, they have *huge* bugs that look like cockroaches but they're palmetto bugs. I am deathly afraid of them ... If I were K-ster, I would have been flipping out! Isn't it such a relief when you just realize it's soap :) LOL. Thank you for joining Evelyn and myself at our first ever Let's Get Social Sunday hop! Now following via GFC. Have a great weekend! Jamie @ Love Bakes Good Cakes

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  3. That is so funny! I needed a good laugh. I love your blog. Your newest follower from Let's Get Social! Have a wonderful week. :)

    Kathy @ lifeonlakeshoredrive.com

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  4. Ha! This the exactly the sort of thing I would panic over! And the sort of thing my husband would find less amusing...;)

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  5. eeewwww! When I saw the picture I had a mild panic myself then thought, why is she posting a pic? As I read all was revealed and I had a laugh. Perhaps you should change soap if it causes so much trouble, something pink or white, to match your knickers :)
    Too too funny!

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    1. Believe me, I had a major debate with myself about posting the picture but I figured it would add to the amusement. If you got past it, that is! I love the soap but it's not a very appealing color and when I first open it, it's as hard as a rock for months. This must have lasted me close to a year. It's the Kiss Your Face or is it Kiss My Face brand. I really like it but it did not have such a glorious final act!

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  6. I burst out laughing while reading this! :) Danica

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