Thursday, March 24, 2011

Please, Please, Please, Make Them Go Away

About a year ago, I posted this message about  UGGS and my opinion hasn't changed.  Please, can't we make them stop????  Can't they all go away?

Let me tell you why I hate Uggs so very much.  THEY STINK when girls wear them ALL YEAR LONG.  I teach middle school, which you might remember as the years you call the pinnacle of your fashion sense, and that means that I live and breathe Uggs from September until June.  And girls STINK!  About May, they start to get really ripe.  Even those that were new from Christmas.  And don't get me started on the fake Uggs, or Fuggs. They smell even worse.

photo courtesy of google images
This pair here is my least favorite type.  As I said to my students the other day "It looks like your sweater fell down and landed around your ankles"  They were incredulous as to my passion for my hatred of Uggs.  Girls who don't usually give me the time of day were suddenly fascinated by my abhorrence of what they consider a staple in their shoe diet.

 photo courtesy of the uggs website
Of  course, this is why people buy them.  If you run around big rocks in bikini bottoms and a sweater, you have clearly lost your mind.  So why not add boots to the mix?

Another reason I so hate them is that they get dirty.  The girls tried to assure me that they clean them all the time with special cleaner.  One tried to say her mother puts them in the washer.  Really? Lambskin/wool in the washer?

Which brings me to another point.  I am not a big PETA person, I do wear animal skins without even thinking.  But the amount of lambs that go to slaughter over these damned things.

The next thing is the protectors.  That's a chemical, ladies.  And the cleaners.  That's a chemical, ladies.

Finally, did I mention how I think they are the epitome of the slovenly dress of our society?  You cannot look put together wearing Uggs.  Not even this fashion plate of  a teacher we have who always looks put together.  She wears her Uggs, or Fuggs, and she looks silly.  No one can walk properly in them.  They induce much scuffing and dragging of the feet.

photo courtesy of google images 
This is my fantasy right here.  I'm going to line them all up on a woodpile while the girls are all at gym.  And then I'm going to set the effing thing right on fire.

Please, can't you all agree to stop wearing them and make the world a less smelly place?

5 comments:

  1. I never really got caught by the ugg phenomenon. They look way too much like slippers. I do sort of hope that they are replaced by something better soon.

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  2. Uggs, named correctly UGH

    I see moms wearing them with shorts???

    And what is it with moms and pigtails?

    Someone needs to call What Not to Wear on them


    that is all

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  3. I just got back from California where is was sunny and 70 degrees . . . and everyone was wearing those sweater-y boot things. Really? In summer weather?

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  4. Excellent dissection of this topic! (Man I don't think I could sound more English-is-my-second-language-and-I-spam/market-my-wares-on-the-internet-all-day-long if I tried.)

    Before I read this post I was neutral on the Uggs issue. But since you have so clearly laid out your case I'm with you. I have a gallon of gasoline, a Bic lighter in my back pocket and a ski mask ready to roll down to conceal my identity.

    Let's torch those mofos during gym class!

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  5. Ugg's are hidious. They should be burned. I hate those shoes too.

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