Sunday, March 6, 2011

Dear Dear, It's Sunday Again

Dear Former Fabulous Horsewoman,

I'm not sure why you had to tell me about 54 times how you were such a great rider as a kid.  I don't really care.  And I don't care that you showed.  And you were quite good. 

I'm happy for you that as an adult, you are going back to riding.  And how fortunate that your friend's daughter is outgrowing her clothes, so you can have her riding gear. 

But, it's jodPERS, you fool, not jodFURS.  If I have to hear you tell me that you have all the jodFURS you need, I think I might tie a pair around your neck, very tightly.  If you were such a great rider for all of those years, I'm pretty sure you'd know how to pronounce it!

Get  a clue,
Sparkling

Dear Makers of Finesse Shampoo,

Thank you for keeping this stuff around.  I remember using it for years and loved the smell.  And the commercials were great- sometimes you need a little finesse, sometimes you need a lot!  It seemed like it had disappeared for a while.

Recently I found it again.  It still smells good but my super sensitive nose also thinks I smell evil chemicals in there, so I use it sparingly.  And sometimes you do provide a little finesse and other times, a lot.

Nice to see you, old friend,
Sparkling

Dear Discovery/TLC or Whatever Company,

A few months ago, I accidentally found a show called Homemade Millionaire.  It was hosted by Kelly Ripa at like 10pm on a Friday night, probably on TLC.  I loved the idea.  3 women come and show some unique thing they've created that they think will be Home Shopping NEtowrk or QVC worthy.  The show is all about how they develop their skills and one gets chosen to actually sell her product on QVC or HSN.  I saw 2 episodes and really liked it.

When I go online, you claim it's out there.  But when I go to the show listings, there isn't any evidence that it's really on tv.  I like the show a lot and would like you to keep it on.  But not at 10pm on Friday.

Thanks,
Sparkling


Dear Fingers,

Do you have to be so sensitive?   Does everything little thing have to cause such pain?  Do we have the disease where the tips of the fingers continue to get more and more sensitive so that they are constantly red and cold and hurt at the slightest touch?  We better not.

Because I can't tolerate that.

I realize that I have pinched my fingers in the grocery carts more than once so I should know better by now. But do you realize how hard I was trying NOT to do that this morning?  Sometimes the carts get jammed and I can't always remember where I should put my hand when I try to drag them apart, and the the fingers get run over.  But do you have to be so dramatic and throb throughout most of the trip to the store?  And make me want to just sit on the floor and cry?   And still remain sensitive now?

Get over it!,
Sparkling

Dear Mother Nature,

You are so rude.  Why do you give us days like this, in March, when you know you're just going to bring back the frigidity of winter?  Why?  You lure us all outside, make us cast off our winter coats, let us think maybe tomorrow will be nice too and we can wear shorts.

But you know tomorrow will be miserable.  You know that you're just tricking everyone.  Now people be leaving the house tomorrow morning, severely underdressed, and then everyone will curse you for making them cold.

Just leave the weather consistently warming and throw the damned yo-yo away.  There's no need for this.

Warm but feeling colder,
Sparkling

Dear Weekends,

Could you be a little longer?  Or at least slow down?  How is it already Sunday night and I don't remember what I've done this weekend?

Slow down, what's the hurry?
Sparkling

4 comments:

  1. I agree! Mother Nature sucks! And who took all the hours away from my weekend? Who was it I ask!

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  2. I sure hope you got the addresses right for these letters. These messages just MUST get out! Good luck! :)

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  3. Very interesting. I want to see that show too.
    I'm sending healing vibes to your fingers. That sounds awful to me. It is so painful to have a little hangnail much less sensitive finger tips. And anythign that interferes with doing arts and crafts can not be abided. XD

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  4. love the letters

    Hope you find the show--

    also this post was bird-free

    LOVE it

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