Sunday, January 30, 2011
There's A Mouse In My Gym Bag
Just about the time k-ster was getting ready to go out, we were standing in the middle of the kitchen and he said, very calmly "there's a mouse right there". And I screamed. I get so mad when I do that. I think mice are cute, really. Somehow the mice here are well fed without ever eating any of my food. I think they steal Gwenstopher's food when she isn't looking. What I don't think is cute is their speed and randomness and if they eat things. The fact that they can climb up you at the speed of light and you don't even know. It ran back under the heater, so k-ster banged the chair into it, which just made it run, top speed, into the living room. I was furious because once it's in the living room, it has way too many options. We have 7 doors in the living. I KNOW. 7 DOORS. 7 means of escape. Not to mention how it interferes with any decorating.
But, Gwenstopher was right on it. And k-ster left. I can't believe he left me with a mouse running around. He's so good like that, giving me a chance to be all brave and strong. She had it, I could hear it squealing, but it's pretty big and eluded her. And ran into my gym bag. We have these ridiculous traps that are kind of like have-a-heart traps for mice. But they are too small, I think. I grabbed one and put in fresh peanut butter and after like 2 seconds, here came the mouse, ready to sniff. But, Gwenstopher was on it again.
I know, you're asking why I was busy taking pictures when I was supposed to be catching a mouse, but have you ever tried? Impossible. I did once catch one with a large wicker basket but there wasn't one nearby and I wasn't about to slam it with a pan, like in the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. K-ster wants me to get the Dyson and suck it up. I've tried to explain just what disaster that would be in the Dyson but he doesn't believe me. It's not like the old Electrolux canister vacs that had a straight shot from the hose into the bag. If that were the case, I'd suck it right up. But,, the Dyson has all kinds of twists and turns and I think it would basically explode in the clear bagless thing and destroy my pricey vacuum cleaner that I don't love. But I'm not ready to destroy it over a rodent.
I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of a mouse running around in your house, but it is very surreal. All of a sudden, it will just BE there and you both stare at each other going "OH SHIT" and then either you try to catch it or it tries to run. And all you really want to do is scream a lot. And maybe you do. And it zigzags its way all over creation and disappears behind things you didn't even know have a "behind it" space. So you wait. And you try to coerce the cat to find it, but she's all confused because you're screaming and telling her to get it and she doesn't even know what IT is. And then you give up. And then it pops out again and you start all over again.
I tried to remain VERY CALM this time.
Back it went, under the heater, running around in it. She was out of her mind trying to catch it. And it ran out once, again for the peanut butter, but she scared it back under. And then she sat here for a while and waited.
I suppose I should get on with my day and leave the chair that is next to the heater where the mouse is hiding. I know Gwenstopher will scare it out and it will run up my leg and I will freak right out. And then the phone will ring while I'm freaking out. And I'll drop it in my haste to get the rodent off me. I hate freaking out, I really do. I just can't deal with the element of surprise.